Plus-Sized Pin Up

No exercise today. Last night my stomach was pretty upset and I was clutching the toilet for awhile I was finally able to make it to bed nursing a 7Up. Hubby had to bring me a pan in case I couldn't make it to the bathroom. I curled up on my side fearful that I wouldn't sleep. Exercise didn't seem like the smartest idea, so I told myself I would be lax today. After sleeping in until nearly noon, I go out of bed feeling a lot better. I'm not sure what caused it, but I'm happy it didn't stick around!

I made something called Cowboy Stew last night. It calls for some bacon, so, in order to make it healthier, I subbed turkey bacon. Thoughts: NEVER AGAIN! Since I don't eat bacon often (maybe once every 2mo), I say give me the damn pig! Oh my goodness, that stuff is nasty! My hubby talked me into trying it this afternoon (I refused to eat it with the mean - It was a garnish). I did. I ran into the family room to eat one of his wasabi almonds. It was the only thing strong enough to clear my palette. *shudder*

I'm heading back to the gym tomorrow. Time to finish a week of shredding the elliptical for 20min.

Week 1, version 2

Bust: 49.5
Chest: 46
Waist: 48
Hips: 53.5
Thighs: 26
Arms: 16
Weight: 260

My numbers have come down! I messed up my waist measurement. According to the measurements for today, it has added inches. However, my pants have been sitting looser around the waist, so I think I must have done something wrong *shrug* Part of my brain is upset about the 10lbs. of weight, but I remind myself that muscle is heavier than fat. Since my measurements have come down, I think that is more telling of my progress than the scale.

w00t moment of the day (Peak Moment): I DID 20 CONTINUOUS MINUTES ON THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE!! It was awesome! I also was able to get it at a higher intensity. I'm still not shredding the way some of the girls and guys are, but this is awesome for me! Just think, at the beginning of August, I could barely push myself for 5 minutes! The treadmill was a little easier today. Even though I am only pounding away 10 minutes on it, the past couple have weeks felt as though I really, really, really had to push myself. But today came out super easily. LoL, I have to say that Lady Gaga does help! When I'm dragging, I turn on Just Dance or Bad Romance and get a super boost of energy! Kind of like my own power drink ^_~

I admit that breakfast today was bad (McDonald's bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit and OJ). When we were at the store last night, we forgot to get more cheerios. I thought about just skipping and eating a slice of cheese when I got home. Really, with how much I did, that didn't sound like a good idea. Oh well, OJ is yummy and good :9

But I had a point with the admission. After I got my stuff at the drive-through, the lady at the window stopped me to comment on my tattoo! She kept going on about how pretty it was, that the Cheshire Cat reminded her of another cartoon cat, the colours were awesome, etc. I don't mean to toot my own horn . . . Ah, screw it, I will! Toot! Toot! ^_^

Today I feel good. Tired from the workout, but really energized. When I woke up this morning, it was all I could do to pull myself out of bed. Haha, you would never know it now ^__^ Hopefully, when I call jobs back, I will hear good news!

I'm been reading Never Say Diet on and off last night and today. I agree that a lifestyle changes must first come from our way of thinking about things and acceptance. However, while reading, I discovered a few landmines in her thought process. She makes it clear that her motivating factor was based on poor self-image and mind-reading. I have poor self-image, but I know that it won't change when/if I lose weight. I am who I am, with weight or without. And, after thinking about it, my self-image and self-esteem come from something more internal. The weight issue is just adding fuel to the fire.

She mentioned that she didn't like the way people looked at her. Well, how does she know? I don't know about her, but I cannot read peoples' mind. She mentions this as a part of losing control, which she uses as another huge basis for losing weight on her part (w/ diets you just kind of give up and do what they tell you to). But, you know what? I cannot control other people. The only person I can control is myself. It it my choice to look around and interpret everything as negative. Yes, I am guilty of it, but other people do not do it to me. And, if they are thinking bad thoughts, so what? I can either give them/negative feelings power in my life, or I can take charge and refuse to listen to the lies I tell myself. Losing weight/changing your lifestyle should never be about what you perceive others think of you. That is not healthy!

Another pet peeve, she talks about how diets don't work when the force you to eat things you hate. I can accept that; however, she then goes on to discuss how she did not allow anything she liked to enter her mouth. I understand, to a point. Changing your lifestyle and eating habits is not about denial! A balance needs to be made. Okay, you like to eat a slice of cheese cake once in a while. So what? Continued denial will only cause you to want it more. *shrug*

She decided to look at food as being bad. That turned into saying that food was not supposed to be fun; it was only necessary as fuel. Okay, okay, I can see the logic in that. But is food itself really the enemy? Why we chose to not accept our own issues (overeating, binging, etc.) and personify food by projecting these human traits on it? Does it really make weight loss that much better? Blaming something else instead of understanding your part doesn't allow change.

*shrug* These are my thoughts on the what I've read so far. I like the companion book, but I'm not going to follow it to a T. Adding stuff on the stability ball is cool, continue upping my time/intensity on the elliptical machine is good, but I want to stick with the stuff the PT told me to concentrate on. Also, I'm going to take everything at face value. She just provides different ideas and options to follow. Keeping a food journal and monitoring your physical activities are a good thing to keep you focused and accountable.

In less thoughtful news, I really don't want to got to the gym tomorrow! I got over half my tattoo coloured (he wants to do another sitting on Nov. 6), and it HURTS! Just doing simple movements really hurts. It feels bruised, tight, etc. Well, that means I need to be easier on my arm related exercises.

On a much light subject:

GETTING TATTOO COLOURED TODAY!

It didn't get coloured two weeks ago, because he said it was still healing. He didn't want to damage the new skint hat had already started to come in. Here's hoping that he will consider it good this afternoon. I'm so excited!!

When we get back, we might be heading to the cheap seats to what The Karate Kid with a buddy. Yay :)

How much of weight issues are rooted in just "settling"? Yes, I need to be able to accept myself the way I am now, but sometimes I feel as though it is settling. "Well, I'm going to be this way forever, so I have got to start learning to live with it/be comfortable with it." That's sad!

After some thought, I decided yo break down and buy Never Say Diet Again by Chantel Hobbs (as well as the personal fitness trainer companion). After reading about the book on Amazon (would you believe that I had never heard of her before?), it looked as though it might be a nice thing to try.

The failures of the past several weeks -- probably month -- I decided that I need to start over. I'm not waiting for the bandwagon to come by and pick me up, I'm putting my foot down and making a firm stance in my decision to life a healthy life. Yes, I believe that you don't need to be a size 6 to be healthy, but I wouldn't be too bad ^_~ LoL, my bones will never be small enough for a size 6. My momma blessed me with childbearing hips ^_^

Anyways, I read the first chapter of the book. She listed questions to provoke thought. Since keeping a journal helps show progress, it has also forced me to be transparent and really look at myself. Also, so many of the ladies in the blogosphere have been such an encouragement, and I want to be able to give that back. Well, back to the point, I'm officially starting on Monday (starting at the beginning of weeks are always better for me). However, I just wanted to take a moment and reflect on her questions.

Beyond losing weight, what do you most want to change about your life?
Honestly, I think it would be overall health. Coming from a long line of diabetes and stress induced heart disease, I don't want to open the door and invite that crap into my life. Also, I want to be able to go running with my hubby and puppy without dying from being out of shape or from my asthma. Getting healthy will help me get better control over that issue.

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to see certain areas of your life undergo radical change? If you're not yet willing, what is holding you back?
I don't know if this has fully sunk into my brain. Having an English degree, I can read the words, tell you what they mean, etc. However, there are a lot of issues that go into them. Yes, I want to undergo a change. And, yes, I can say I'm willing to do whatever it takes. However, I'm not sure if it has sunk into my brain fully . . .

As far as fear . . . I don't know. I'm afraid of stepping outside of my comfort zone and admitting that there is a problem. If I deny it, then I can go back to my blissful ignorance. However, doing that will result and diabetes and other health issues. I also do not feel as though I am good enough. Am I really worth it? My rational side says, "yes!" But my emotions tell me "no."

When you gained weight in the past, what factors caused you to lose your focus on health?
It was too hard, too much work, and not worth it. When it was discovered that Depo upped me blood pressure, I decided to leave all salt behind and say hello to a new diet. Yeah, that worked . . . For what, two minutes? I felt overwhelmed and discouraged.

Identify three reasons or influences from the past that convinced you that you couldn't achieve permanent change. After consider these reasons, can you now admit they were merely excuses?
You know, I really don't know how to answer this question. I make a lot of excuses for getting out of exercising, eating poorly, etc. But I don't know if there was any past concrete reason that influenced me. It might be rooted in my feelings of worth/lack thereof.

Think about the necessity of changing your mind before you attempt to change your body. Do you agree that lasting change begins on the inside? As you consider being the best you can be, are you ready to work from the inside out?
Short answer, yes. A lot of my weight issues come from my poor self-esteem and body-image. Coming to an understanding and a love of self creates an amazing amount of motivation. If you love yourself -- truly love yourself -- why would you want to remain in the same boat you're in? We would do anything to help lift our family and friends up, because we love them. Why should we treat ourselves any different?

A total life change involves your mind, body, and spirit, Think about the spiritual aspect for a moment. Do you accept the role that faith plays in the process of changing your life for good?
Even though I am a big video gamer, avid book reader, RPGing person, I still have a very deeply rooted belief in God. Too many times in my life, He has had to come in a save me. Literally! To me, if I look at God and His view of me, it will be easier to overcome all this crap and rise above it. Without His help, nothing.

When have you been held back by fear and failure? Write down your biggest fears in this regard. As you face your fears, can you decide to let them go and give your all to permanent life change?
I fear change. I fear being out of control (specifically, out my control). When I was a child, life was turbulent. I never had a strong base, and I never had a place of comfort. Because it was so turbulent, I had to find things that I could control. I'm also afraid to love myself. And I'm afraid to be loved by others. There are so many reasons I can put down, but it will never fully encompass the truth. I want to let them go. I am tired of living in this crap and lugging it around with me. I'm done. Finished. I want to open my hands and allow God to take control. But I'm scared . . .

• Shower -- Check
• Get dressed -- Check (wear trouser jeans a a beautiful black Indian silk shirt)
• Get make-up done -- Check (decided to work the eyes with a natural brown)
• Do hair -- Check (moused, puffed at the front, rest of hair pulled back into a tiny ponytail, very back curled w/ circle brush, and topped with a pretty blue scarf -- kind of like those pin ups wearing their hair in a bandanna.
• A splash of body spray -- Check

I am all ready for filling out paperwork. I figure it is a food idea to look sharp. I'm nervous. I'm afraid that leaving the house will eff up my hair! I worked so long and hard on it. Oh well . . . I did grab my lipstick and gloss to re-coat them after lunch. I'm ready!! The only thing, I cannot decide about wearing my heels. Usually I would wear my Crocs, but . . . *shrug* Maybe they won't care.

Lately the gym has felt like an exercise in endurance. Previously it didn't feel as though it was too hard. After the last week or two, I've changed my mind! I haven't been able to move up to 20min on the elliptical machine, I can barely push myself for 10min on the treadmill, walking back upstairs from the weights is an exercise in mind over matter, even the stability ball exercises is bashing me. I also found out that a breakfast of milk and cheerios doesn't not sustain be through the workout. When it gets to lunch time, I feel really weak. I'm going to have to remember to eat my reduced-fat cheese sticks. It is a quick shot of protein.

Today has been lazy. I finished watching a horror movie and an episode of Nip/Tuck. I am planning on taking a bath followed by a nap. My head has been killing me all afternoon. It might be a tension headache, I don't know . . . I'm wondering whether I should slow it down at the gym. Maybe that's why I feel so beat down today.

In good news, I got a call from Maurice's. They want me to come in to fill out some additional paperwork and possibly set up an interview! I'm heading in first thing tomorrow morning. I'm really excited, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I know it isn't officially an interview, but I think dressing nice would be wise ^_~ Luckily my mom sent me this awesome beaded, silk Indian shirt the other day. I think I'll slip that on with my trouser jeans, do my makeup , and hair. You know, it think the shirt covers most of my tattoo ^_^ I'm not sure if they would have a problem, but it is better to not have it slap a possible employer in the face. I can't do much about my forearm tattoo, but it isn't too obvious. If you're looking for it, sure . . . I hope they don't mind facial piercings. I don't want to take my nose piercing out. If I need to buy another stud, that's cool. The ring is kind of noticeable ^_~

Anyways, I'm going to be bad and drink Coke with Advil to kick this headache. Hopefully the bath and rest will help. Now the fun part, I get to try and lure Juneau into her crate :P

(note: She is part of a group of nudist. That should explain her circumstances and the people that show up.)
After putting dinner in the oven, I decided to allow my brain to dribble out of my ear. This episode felt a little negative on women who are curvy, but this part was an uplift in many, many ways. I hope this clip speaks to you :)

I am wallowing, and I need to stop! Memories from past events keep entering my brain, and I find myself judging who I am now. Things have changed, life has changed, I'm not longer that person. I admit it, I am far more jaded and cynical than I used to be, but I've also lived longer. I have a wonderful hubby who loves me unconditionally, some amazing friends (Angel, you know who you are ^_~), some fuzzy "kids", a degree!, etc. Even though part of me wants to be that girl again, I wonder whether I would really be happy. And do I want to be her because of the way I felt? The attention is nice, but I still hated myself then as well. Now, whether my body image is better, I am being proactive about my life (haha, in some areas) ^_^

I'm hoping that the continued exercise will help with the depression. Even though I am extremely exhausted some days, I look forward to my 3x/wk gym outing. LoL, that sounds so strange ^_~ But, hey, it keeps me going.

A few years ago, I took a job with our local paper was a copy desk editor. It was an awesome job, but I was forced to quit after a few months. The hours were killing me and getting in the way of school and life. Now one of the girls I worked with just moved to Washington, so her position is available. They want to hire immediately. My hubby wants to me apply, but I feel really torn about it. It would be putting my degree to go use, it was a laid back job (even with the deadlines), etc. But one of the reasons I quit was the hours. I had to come in around 6pm and work until nearly 2am everyday but Sundays. My brain was just shutting down, which caused me to make/miss a lot of mistakes that were made. It was hard. I'm not sure if I should try to go back. Hubby thinks that being out of school will help with the hours, but still . . . I don't know . . . I tell myself that feeling this way supports my decision not to return. Arg! I wish things were easy!

Well, I'm off to call a few jobs I applied for. I'm hoping it isn't too early in the process to be calling them, but I would really like to know. Plus, it shows that I am being proactive and want to job. Here's hoping I get the job at the local radio station ^_~

Thank the person that gave you the award.

Ginger, at Ginger Is Losing It, gave me this beautiful award! Thanks, sweetie! This award is coming at the right time **hugs** And thanks for all your support and encouragement. I really don't know where I would be without you ladies!

Answer the question: If you had one chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be?

There are a lot of things I could say to this. After a long road, I am finally starting to overcome and come to terms with my checkered past. But, thinking about it, I don't think I would change anything. Yeah, I lived through abuse from a parent suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder and Bi-Polar Disorder, feeling abandoned by one parent, etc. But, you know, God has redeemed my past. I now have a history to share with people and use as encouragement. And, honestly, it would change who I have become. I have been able to be strong, stand firm, and rise above adversity and no longer play the victim! So, to state it simply, I wouldn't change anything in my past.

Pick 6 people and give them this award, and don’t forget to inform them they’ve won!

The Roxie Project

The Skinny Dance

. . . Like a Fat Kid Loves Cake

Muffin Fixation

Nuggets of Truth

Traci's Treasures

And because I want to, A Look Into Her Brain

I get up 3 days out of the week to head over to the gym and pound away on the machines. After that, I come home, let Juneau out, take a bath/shower, sometimes a nap, and pick hubby up from work. 2 days out of the week are spent doing pilates. After all of these activities, I sit at home reading, cruising the TV channels mindlessly, or rotting my brains away watching Netflix. I don't have a job. I don't have friends that live here anymore (or that want to hang out). My life is closed and boring. Granted, I could get off my ass and get a lot of cleaning done, but I don't have the motivation. I hate cleaning, and things have gotten to a point where my OCD is really acting up. I feel as though I can't get anything done.

When I step back and look at things, it is obvious I am depressed I don't want to get out of bed in the morning, because I see no point. It is easier to stay in bed and read my book than come out and deal with Juneau (she has to be dealt with on way or the other). I hate to admit it, but I don't shower as much as I ought to. All of my clothes are dirty, and I have nowhere to go. What's the point?

I've been keeping extremely consistent with exercising. I have not dropped the ball on that. But everything else has gone to shit. I haven't been eating well. Lunch is basically eat-out meal, because we have nothing in the 'fridge. I've made a few meals, but the leftovers don't last as long as I would like. On top of that, the money issue weighs heavily on both of us. Yet, we cannot stop getting ice cream almost every evening or grab cold/coffee drinks at Hastings most weekends. Arg! I want to feel bad about slipping, but I don't. For goodness sake, I haven't lost anything! And I've been doing this for over a month! I tell myself that I am gaining muscle mass; therefore, I'm not losing anything pounds. Even though I have wanted to focus on overall health, I still feel discouraged getting on the scale. It feels as though I have been trying to change my lifestyle for nothing. I've been tempted to go into the doctor for a prescription to diet pills. She mentioned them at our last visit. But, for some reason, that doesn't feel right in my head.

I've been rejected from 4 jobs so far. It makes me feel pretty low. Looming in front of me is the ever present truth that I might have to cave and work at Wal*Mart. *sigh*

. . . I think it would be a good idea to make an appointment with my counselor . . . But I feel down in the dumps and wonder whether she can really help this issues and find coping mechanisms.

*sigh* Choice of the morning, read or keep sucking my brain out with Netflix?

The gym really kicked my ass yesterday. I did the elliptical at a much higher intensity. Still 15mins, but I was covered with sweat! I've added in sit-ups on the stability ball. The first day, it didn't really feel like anything. Yesterday, I felt my abs really, really working.

And, instead of taking a nice hot bath and a nap, I spent the morning on the phone and re-watching season 5 pt. 1 of Nip/Tuck. We finally joined Netflix to cut down on spending at the local rental place. I knew about the instant streaming, but I never did anything about it. While in Greeley, my bro turned me Bullsh*it! and most of it can be streamed. Well, I got curious and started looking around. I can watching Nip/Tuck streaming! Yay! I might never have finished the series if I had to spend a ton on rental fees. Here's hoping that Medium can be streamed as well!!

Well, I finally got my act together and made dinner. I made black bean and brown rice enchiladas. I decided to make a double batch, so I have the a nice amount of the filling freezing for later use. And, for breakfast, a cheese stick and grapes (yes, I know, there are other breakfast options, but not in the house at the moment). Grapes = :9

Poor hubby is home sick from work. He said it felt as though he is running a fever, but he is a lot cooler than I am. He also slept as though he was running a fever all night. I wonder if it could be overwork/stress. Poor guy!

Off to finish my current episode of Nip/Tuck.

I forced myself to the gym this morning. For some reason the desire not to go and tiredness far out weighted my feelings last night. But I went. Why when I am exhausted, the elliptical machine is so much easier? I did a much higher pace than usual, and it felt as though i might have been able to get a 20min out of my body. Strange, but good :)

Discovery: Sometime at the gym, my calves felt a little harder. I figured it was because I was stretching and using them at the same time. When I was getting fuel after the workout, I reached down and ran my hands down my calves. They are as rock hard as they used to be when I used to do 250lbs. on leg presses back a few years!! This is so exciting and encouraging! When I was doing weights back in the day (maybe 3-4 years ago), it took me MONTHS to get my calves rock hard and solid. It has only taken going to the gym and switching things up with a PT to get this loveliness! **happy white girl dance**

Well, off to a nice, relaxing hot bath and then a short nap before I pick the hubby up for lunch. And, man, my stomach its growling. I think I'll grab some cheese on the way to the bathtub :)

It is amazing how much home feels like home.

On Friday, Angel drove down of a visit. We went to the rec center for some swimming and water slide fun. After that, I got out my stage make-up and turned her into a zombie for the premier of Resident Evil: Afterlife.

The next morning, we left for Greeley and left Juneau at his house. We promptly ran over to Fort Collins as fast as we could, shoveled food down our throat, went to get Angel's tattoo (her appointment was 20min late), and waited for my colour. After finally getting her new ink and touch-up done, I was able to get into Diego's chair. I mentioned some weird bumpy parts of the tattoo, he looked over it and decided that it was still healing. No colouring. I go back in a week or two. It was sad since the trip was planned around it. *shrug* Either way, our traditional gelato-after-tattoo wasn't an option due to an October Fest in old town. But we did find an awesome, homemade ice cream place. We finally got our asses in gear and got back to my brother's house to check on Juneau. His roomie had let her out to be around his dogs. They are big German Shepherds, so I was afraid she would freak out. His youngest bitch was very, very patient and gentle with her. It was the best weekend she ever had! She was so happy! When we go home, she kind of collapsed. She didn't even get up when the front door was opened!!!!

Even though this was another bad weekends food wise, when I tightened my belt, it was on the lowest hole and felt as though it could go tighter without an issue!! When I got the belt, I couldn't have it that low without a lot of smooshing! Every time I check my weight, it has been maintaining and my measurements appear to be the same. I am taking this as a sign! Even after stuffing myself on a Denver omelet before church, eating more than I should at On The Border, and grabbing a chiller and the Human Bean, my belt still could have gone tighter with room too spare! Booya!

While visiting bro, he introduced my to Bullshit with Pen and Teller. It was awesome! He was watching it streaming from Netflicks. I'm going to have to get on a find how many episodes they have available online.

Needless to say, it is good to be home. I wish Angel could have gotten more days off, but I'm happy to have the house to myself. It is hard to really feel at home when entertaining company. If you read this, Angel, I still love you visiting me, and I still wish you could have stayed longer!!!

Hubby is in bed early this evening. Either from lack of sleep or a bug, he isn't feeling well. I'm hoping it's lack of sleep, because I don't want to catch anything!

I'm wasted. The though of going into the rec center for a workout tomorrow really makes me feel . . . ug! I cannot give myself an excuse to get out of it. If I even do that once, I will get back into the habit of not going. This is not an option. A hot bath and a little extra sleep should help me shake this off.

Yesterday was a bad day. I'm not sure that was causing the issues, but I was in a bad way. Even though I took a nap in the afternoon, it felt as though I hadn't slept in ages. My body hurt, I felt lethargic, barely had energy, my head was killing me, etc. I ate some cheese and almonds for a little extra protein thinking it could be from working out. It really didn't help anything. I was trying to make sure I was keeping myself hydrated. I don't know if that helped, but I never really felt hungry. Finally, after talking to my mom, I decided that I needed some iron. We went over to Applebee's for a late dinner. I ordered a burger. I wasn't hungry, but when I bit into it, I was ravenous! It really, really helped.

Back before Depo took my period, I used to get really bad iron deficiency during my period. I wasn't really bleeding as much as I used to, but my body responded the same way it had when I had low iron. Either way, I felt a lot better after the burger! My headache kind of dulled, but it came back with a vengeance! I took some Midol on the assumption that it was induced by Aunt Flo. It didn't subside by the time I turned out the light, but I was able to get to sleep.

Ug, the house needs to be cleaned. When it comes to working around the house, I have absolutely no motivation. I have given hubby the task of cleaning the kitchen. He was willing to clean up because I was cooking all the time, and now it's time for him to follow up on that. I also need to call some of the jobs I applied for. Not to mention that I need to make a playlist for tomorrow.

Well, I need to get working. The kitchen needs to be clean enough to make tuna and egg salad sandwiches for lunch (yum!!). Here's hoping week 6 goes a lot better than the previous weeks!

Both hubby and I went to the gym this morning. He worked on the treadmill, did some of the stability ball stuff with me, worked on the weights, and ended up in the pool and whirlpool with me. We had a lot of fun. He said he didn't feel as though he got too much of a workout, but now he is barely awake on the couch. *giggle*

That being said, off to get out of the wet swimming suit and take a nap. Hey, it's Labor Day ^_~

Well, that was an epic fail!

A few weeks ago, I decided to buy some false lashes. Never in my life have I worn them. Never in my life have I tried to wear them. This afternoon, out of sheer boredom, I got brave! I tried them!! The first one went on seamlessly! It was wonderful, and it looked really, really cool. Completely energized and encouraged, I apply the glue to the second one, get it in the tweezers, wait for the glue to get tacky, and move to the eye. Yeah . . . Fail. I couldn't get at the right angle to see correctly, so it was guess work. The tweezers were more of an issue than a help. I tried using my fingers. I had to reapply the glue twice, because it took too long the first time. After gluing my eyelashes together and continual fails, I decided to get myself cleaned up.

At least I got to see what HALF of it would look like finished. Sheesh, they make a LOT of difference. I always thought they were cool, but, man, this was something else!

LoL, maybe next time I should get hubby to put the last one on. HeeHee, he would freak out! Guess I need more practice. Really, I could totally get used to the look for flasies. They rock!

A success today was the completion of next week's food menu and the shopping list! We still need to get our lazy asses up and go shopping. When faced with going to Wal*Mart, it's hard to find the motivation. It is just so tiring!

Well, off to do something my good at . . . READING ^____^

I completed my student loan exit interview. According to it, my grace period is actually 6mo instead of the 3 I was originally thinking. However, I need to get the loan paid off in 10 years, which means a payment of $564/mo!! Really, even with a part-time job, we could take my full ages and make payments. We're already tight on money, but if the money doesn't come out of hubby's paycheck, it should work. We are also saving up some money to either work on paying interest for the 6mo or first loan payment. Arg! School should be free!!!

I just finished applying for a part-time sales associate with Maurice's. I've wanted to work there for awhile, so it would be cool if I got the job. However, if I get hired by UW, I'm leaving the position. Working for 30k+/yr and my department would be so freakin' awesome! Really, I'm uberly pumped about the possibility of working in my old department!!

Went to the gym this morning. I've been getting my heart rate up and keeping it up while on the machines. I also work on stretching, lungs, etc. with the stability ball. After that, I do some low weight, 10 reps on the weight machines. The first day the PT had me do that, I nearly died! My body felt so beat up! Now, it just feels like, meh. I know my heart rate is up and staying up, but it doesn't feel so challenging. I have been pushing myself -- more time/intensity on the elliptical (15min. next week!!), longer and higher intensity on the treadmill, etc. Am I doing something wrong or is my body just getting used to working?

Hey, there is time to take a quick nap before I pick up hubby!!! Yay!!! He teased me with a nap this morning :(

Random questions: What song should I use as opener and closer for the radio show? Previously, I used Welcome to the Jungle by Guns 'N Roses and closed with A Tout Le Monde by Megadeth. Any other ideas, or should I keep it the same?

The Sinn Wagon will be up and running next week. Check out the blog for more information!! If you guys could listen, it would be awesome!

No change on the weight front. I'm feeling a little sad about it. However, I'm not in this for the numbers on the scale. My goal is to become healthier, and I really think I'm getting there. My eating this week has not been the best, but I have kept up my physical activity. Haha, even though I am still a very sedate person, my energy level is going up after each session on the gym! I come in feeling exhausted and worn out, and I leave feeling energized, refreshed, and awake! All the scale is telling me is that I'm maintaining and not gaining. Plus, I know I am gaining muscle, so that will add weight. I also looked at my measurements. In my bust and hips area, it looks as though I lost of inches. However, I realized that I wasn't wearing my bra, and I was during the previous measurements. That doesn't work :P My waist line is saying I added a couple inches :( If I think about retaking them, I'll add the updated measurements sometime this afternoon.

Even though I didn't eat the best, I had a larger intake of water yesterday. For some reason, I haven't been feeling thirsty. When I feel hungry, it doesn't feel the same, so . . . *shrug*

Juneau killed hubby's computer the other night. She was chasing Dizzy all over the house and furniture. She jumped on hubby twice and scratched the hell out of his computer screen. The first time he might have been still able to work on it. But after the second time, there was no coming back. We have moved my computer, and he us using it in the evenings. My computer time is usually limited to the morning and afternoon, so it works out well. Although I realize that I just enabled him to continue playing instead of spending time together. *shrug* Can't win them all.

Ug, I need to clean my house! Angel is coming on the 10th, and this place is a pigsty! Hubby promised to do dishes since I was cooking all the time. The kitchen has yet to bear any fruit in that regard. The rest of the house is left up to me. He always freaks out when dealing with my stuff . . . Well, really, something not his own. I also need to get the guest bathroom cleaned up for Angel. Although I have claimed that one as my own. Since Juneau likes to dig through the cat box for snacks, it has been moved to the master bathroom. I cannot stand it! Even kept clean, there is more smell due to the humidity and the smaller space. Also, the guest bathroom has better lighting for make up and such. Needless to say, IT NEEDS CLEANING! I also need o try and organize my make up. For me, it isn't too terrible being all over the counter, but for guests it makes it hard for them to use the faucet and such.

Anyways, Hack/Slash is calling my name. I want to get some more reading done and then convince myself to get up and start working.

Goal for next week: Get back to menu planning, make better food choices, and continue shredding it at the gym.

We got into a car accident this afternoon. We were pulling out o a parking spot on a one-way while someone was turning onto the street. The worst part, they were an elderly person who was also handicapped! I felt terrible. Our back bumper took most of the impact. You can tell we got into an accident, but it doesn't look too bad. The back light cover on the driver-side broke. His car, on the other hand, looks awful! The passenger-side fender was pretty crumpled. The impact caused his car to leak window cleaner. We were afraid that it was something more.

After everything was said and done, the police office didn't cite anyone. He said that it was the other guy's fault, because he was turning onto the one-way while we were already on it. In addition the distance between our parking spot and the corner wasn't enough to really see the other car. Both hubby and other driver said that they didn't see each other, so it really wasn't any one person's fault.

This week as not been the best food week. The timing of the paycheck and the end of the week has really screwed things up. I need to sit down and figure out another menu. I'm going to have to crack the whip tomorrow and make sure that I start thinking about my choices. However, one really positive thing, I have not stopped my weekly exercise! Even though the elliptical was harder this today, everything got off without a hitch.

Well, back to my utter geekiness -- Zombie Strippers. Yes, I am that geeky ^_~