Plus-Sized Pin Up

God blessed me with sleep free of nightmares. No reliving the accident over and over again. Just sleeping has done a lot to bring me peace. However, I feel kind of hallow. Spent.

When I woke up this morning, I found quite a collection of bruises forming on my left side. I have a few tiny scratches on my left arm and left knee. Another bruise is starting to form above my knee, one on my left shoulder. My butt also feels a little bruised on the left side, and my right arm feels stiff. Really, I've had so much worse injuries. Thinking about what could have happened, it is kind of comical.

My headache turned out to be just that. Taking some Advil and curling up in a blanket on the couch last night made it disappear.

It took until nearly midnight for my exhausted body to decide I was chilled out enough to take a bath and head to bed. After the bath, I was feeling a lot better. Hubby and I even laughed and joked about stuff and procrastinating instead if sleeping. Little Goblin even ventured out to cuddle last night. Since Juneau, she has pretty much stayed in the bedroom. And, even though I want my dog home, it was nice to not deal with the stress. Cats help decompress a lot better than a 9mo old puppy!

We're trying to get our hands on a rental. At the moment, they have nothing in the lot. Hopefully, something will show up around lunch. I really want to get Juneau home. After calling the animal shelter, I feel better. She is a little nervous, but seems okay.

We're also trying to reach the officer we dealt with last night. He never gave us the paperwork we need to fill out (we only found out about it because of the tow truck driver), the truck driver's insurance info, or the claim number. I blame it on Thanksgiving food babies clouding his judgment

Some of hubby's online friends think we should sue the driver. I don't. Aside from the fact that he tried to help us, was apologetic, etc., I feel that suing is telling God that the gift of our lives isn't enough. When face with that, it feels like pure avarice to even consider suing.

*sigh* I need to go get dressed. I really don't have the motivation to get out of my PJs, but I need to. Besides, I need to get my puppy and some Advil for my bruises. Really, it looks like everything is okay. "What if-ing" it to death and going over and over it is pointless and a waste of time. What happened, happened. It's done. Over. Finished. Something bad happened, but God stepped in and used this horrible incident to show us His unending love and mercy. It should stay at that.

I'm home now. We're home now. We're okay, but I still cannot stop crying. I can't help feeling guilty.

On our way home from Thanksgiving with my brother (earlier today), we got t-boned by a semi on I-80. When I was passing the truck, he started to moved into my lane. Hubby who I was sleeping said that when he woke up, the truck was half way or more into my lane. I tried to avoid him, saw I was going off the road, over corrected back into the lane, lost control, the car veered (sp) out in front of the semi, he his the back passenger door, and we rolled.

We're okay. Everyone is okay. My knee is banged up and I have a headache. I'm not sure whether it is from shock wearing off, a headache, or whiplash. Juneau was in the back passenger seat. Thank God for her seat belt! Sadly, she is 45mi away. They had to take her to the Cheyenne animal shelter. Due to insurance and towing, we couldn't get to pick her up before they closed. So, *deep breath* we have to take that drive again . . .

God is good! We should have died. We should have slipped under the truck. We should have numerous other things, but we didn't. After nearly dying in utero (sp), nearly dying in a house fire when I was 11, and this, I cannot -- nay, I will NOT -- deny the existence of God! If it wasn't for him, my family and I wouldn't be together. Hubby and I wouldn't be waiting for pizza, petting kitties, etc. Praise God!

But still . . . the guilt. Still the tears. My mind keeps trying to go to "what if", but I'm trying to distract myself. This post is cathartic in its own right. I just feel as guilty! Looking at the side of the car, I couldn't stop crying. Waiting for our friend to bring us home, I curled in my blanket in the back of his car and cried. While hubby was calling his parents, I picked up my cat and cried into his fur. God, does it ever go away?