Plus-Sized Pin Up

Weigh-in today. I didn't lose any weight, but I didn't gain any either. I just maintained. I was hoping to see some pounds fall away, but, really, this isn't bad. I need to keep reminding myself that this is not about weight loss. Anything I lose is an added bonus, but it's not the focus.

This weekend was not the greatest as far as food goes. Following the direction of Geneen Roth, I had pizza for dinner on Friday. I have been CRAVING it since this thing started. I didn't over eat. We also got Cinnistix, and I LOVE those things. Keeping that in mind, I ate less pizza so I could focus on the sugar. Small victories? I don't know. Anyways, I made a really good lunch yesterday. It was low calorie, and freakin' YUMMY. Nom nom nom! But we went to a movie in the afternoon, and I indulged in dippin' dots and Coke. We hardly ever go to the movie, so I kind of justified it *sheepish grin* And this afternoon we're going out to lunch with Ninja and his sister. The restaurant has my favorite white pizza . . . It has veggies on it!! Haha, I didn't even mention our Sunday tradition -- if we end up going to church. Bagels and coffee!! Arg!

One way or another, I'll survive the rest of the weekend, and make sure to crack down tomorrow. I already have the menu planned, and the food bought. We did find a few little treasures at the store: More ALMONDS! Okay, to be specific, we found different almond flavors. We like the Blue Diamond almonds because of the neat flavors. Hey, I have to eat 28+ almonds to get to 170 calories. That's a LOT of almonds!

Tomorrow I head back to the rec center. I've been dropping the pilates and yoga for the rec center. I need to find a way to work it back in, but I am just so wasted after plugging away for an for an hour.

*sigh* I hear Vash hissing at Juneau. Meaning, she is disturbing them while they are eating (behind a locked door), and Vash is pissed. I better go take care of it and jump into the shower. I'm trying to not think of this weekend as failure, just a learning experience.

I just read Kendra's post, and it made be start to lament the process of eventual weight loss (remember, I'm not trying to have a goal of overall weight loss). I don't want to miss my boobs! They are my one vanity -- aside from my kickin' calves!! Even though shopping for bras is an issue and I end up spending a lot, I still love them! Damn, I fill out a shirt well! Before way too much weight found itself on my body, I had to wear a size 22 just because of my babies :P

Yes, I am loath to admit, they are rather saggy-ish. But I figure that is due to their size. *shrug* I don't want them to end up looking deflated and saggy! *cry* I'm hoping I'm still young enough that the elasticity of my skin has not gone. Please, God, let me keep my rack intact!

Moment of Truth: I had Little Caesar's for dinner and a nice tall glass of wild cherry Pepsi. After yoga, I finished some leftovers from last night's dinner (I still have another 4 to fry up for lunch tomorrow). In addition, I also worked doing cleaning at my parents' house. It was a slip, but it's not happening all the time.

In Women, Food and God, Roth talks about eating what you want. But where is the balance? What if I am always craving Twix or Reese's Cups? It is not good to eat due to boredom, when you're not hungry, etc., but where is the line? *shrug* I'm still trying to figure this thing out . . .

Due to wake-up set backs, I didn't get out to the rec center this morning. I'm planning on pumping a kick-ass playlists tonight in anticipation of going tomorrow morning! I'll double check about the personal trainer. So pumped!!

Plan: Get up early enough to get the cats fed, take my hubby to work, and hit the rec center! Cardio room, here I come! LMAO, I should make sure to turn on out hot tub tonight with plans to soak away my stiffness. Ahhhhh, hooooot tuuuuub. Kind of like zombies and braiiiiiiiiins ^_~

Goals 8/1 - 8/7:

• Get my bike tires filled
  
• Start riding my bike again /get Juneau used to walking with a bike so she can join me later
  
• Walk Juneau down to the mail box everyday -- working on "heel"
• Walking with hubby and Juneau in the park Friday evening (I hope to make this more of a several-times-a-week occurrence)
  
• Try one of my other Pilates DVDs, and try the accelerated fat burning workout
  
• Find time for both yoga and DDR
  
• Figure out the rec center drama (I'm tempted just to get a membership and go by myself)
  
• Take some time for just me -- reading book, playing video games, etc

Last week went a lot better than I had anticipated. I had a few missteps, but it went really well. A lot of the outdoors goals went south. The weather here was pretty unpredictable. The other day quarter-sized hail was beating down. Needless to say, I didn't want to go outside! However, I did get Juneau walked one time ^_~ Aside from that, I followed my exercises very well. The sculpting pilates DVD kicked my ass. I was excited!

Goals 9/8 - 9/15:

• Get out and ride my bike
• Work with Juneau
• Getting a tour -- and hopefully and membership -- of the rec center
• Continue changing up the pilates DVDs
• Try to alternate yoga and DDR
• Choose better snack ideas/snack a little less
• If I get a membership at the rec center, start heading over there in the morning after dropping hubby off at work

Today I was a little bit better with food, but found myself snacking a lot. In all honesty, I'm not sure if I was hunger or it was out of habit. Some of it was due to hunger, but it wasn't the whole reason.

Success: My parents moved to Memphis, TN a few years back. They have been trying to sell their house since March. Their Realtor is cocky and arrogant. When people are brought to the house, he never makes sure to check his listing. Most of the lights have been burnt out because they have been left on, almost all the cabinets were open, etc. Anyways, my parents want me to stop by the house and make sure everything is fine. They also want me to work on some cleaning while I'm there.

To the point, the house is built into a hill and has a two-story climb up the stairs and into the house. When I was still a teenager, I could fly up the stairs without being out of breath. There is also a staircase to the upper bedrooms -- mine was up there. Anyways, this afternoon was the first time for a long while that I felt energized to walk up! Granted, I was still out of breath, but I didn't feel tired or anything. The same happened with the stairs to the upper story. I don't know if it was due to the weekly exercise, increased energy from eating better, or what, but it was awesome!

I'm sitting in front of the TV while typing on my computer. Silent Hill is on. It makes me want to get out my copy. I have one of the later games in the series. But the whole thought creeps me out! I freakin' love that game, but it scares the shit out of me. I know I need to head upstairs, but I want to avoid it. I know there are nasty monsters lurking up there! For heaven's sake, I saw Pyramid Head!!!! Thankfully, according to Wiki, I don't ever have to face him. I will see him a few more times, but that's it. However, I need to remind myself that Batman: Arkham Asylum is waiting to be finished. I'm pretty close to confronting Killer Croc. yay!

I got a couple of CDs this afternoon. I'm planning on ripping them and putting them on my iPod. The idea of making a workout playlist makes me giddy! *^_^*

Recap Day 3:
After our lunch out, my evening was sad. I had planned on making black bean and rice enchiladas for dinner. Hubby has dance class until 6:30, so I figured the stuff could go into the oven around 6:10. I knew that it needed to be started early. I had every plan of doing so. The internet and making blogger layouts distracted me. Finally looking down at the clock, I see it is 5:38!! Running into the kitchen, I get everything out and figured I could pull it together pretty quickly. Not! I remembered that the rice needed to be cooked. Unfortunately, the package I got called for close to a hour of cooking time. *sigh*

Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but hubby had to go back into work after dinner. Needless to say, we ended up grabbing a quick Taco Bell (aka Toxic Smell ^_~) dinner. I wasn't too thrilled. However, I must admit that it tasted good *^_^*

On top of that adventure, I ended up staying up until nearly 5am! My hubby still was not home :(

Day 4:
Lunch: One chipotle sloppy joe (less than 406cal),some ranch flavored rice cakes (cannot remember the cal count), and half of a bottle of Sprite (100cal). Nom nom nom!

Even though I only had about 4.5 -5hrs of sleep, my body got me up this morning. The cats have been fed, the hubby is sleeping, and I've been goofing off on my computer. I did manage to get yoga done this morning. It really kicked my ass!

Quotes for the day:

"Women turn to food when they are not hungry because they are hungry for something they can't name: a connection to what is beyond the concerns of daily life. Something deathless, something sacred. But replacing the hunger for divine connection with Double Stuf Oreos is like giving a glass of sand to a person dying of thirst. It creates more thirst, more panic. Combine the utter inefficacy of dieting with the lack of spiritual awareness and we have generations of mad, ravenous, self-loathing women. We have become obsessed with getting rid of our obsession, with riding on top of our suffering and ignoring its inherent message, that we lose the pieces of ourselves waiting to be found beneath it. But fixing ourselves is not the same as being ourselves. The real richness of obsession lies in the ineffable stillness, the irrefutable wholeness, that is found in turning toward its source."
Women, Food and God - Geneen Roth

I just found this quote to be very deep! I still have a hard time thinking of myself as an emotional eater, but this really puts a different spin on it. Awhile back, my husband ended getting a horrible, horrible case of depression. During that time, I felt as though I just had a roommate, and that I needed to take on a mothering role just to get him through the day. Obviously I had needs that were not being met. I ended up buying a lot of stuff on the internet. And, trust me, I have always been very frugal. Even spending allowance money on a book was agonizing. Imagine how shocked I was that I turned to buying things. In the long run, I was never getting my need met. I was only getting instant gratification; it didn't last.

"But while we spend plenty of time working on our bodies, exercising, dieting, and making improvements, we don't just listen [to our bodies]."
Transparent: Getting Honest About Who We Are and Who We Want to Be - Sarah Zacharias Davis

What would it mean if we started listening to our bodies, our intuition, and God? I think our focus would be completely different if we sat quietly and listened to what our bodies had to tell us. Slowing down and paying attention to what I ate, I was amazed to discover how little food I need at a sitting. Hubby is a skinny computer geek, and he eats for than I do! In fact, he eats 3/4 more!

Anyways, those are just some thoughts running through my brain this morning.

Goals 8/1 - 8/7:

• Get my bike tires filled
• Start riding my bike again (start slow. 7mi is unreasonable!*)/get Juneau used to walking with a bike so she can join me later
  
• Walk Juneau down to the mail box everyday -- working on "heel"
• Walking with hubby and Juneau in the park Friday evening (I hope to make this more of a several-times-a-week occurrence)
• Try one of my other Pilates DVDs, and try the accelerated fat burning workout
• Find time for both yoga and DDR
• Figure out the rec center drama (I'm tempted just to get a membership and go by myself)
• Take some time for just me -- reading book, playing video games, etc.
  

*I used to ride by bike 7mi/day. I cannot do that anymore :(

Today was a Pilates morning. I use Windsor Pilates. My chiropractor recommended it, and I've enjoyed it ever since. The DVD I have uses the Pilates circle. It is a 20min. workout. I can feel the burn in my legs!

I decided to alternate Pilates and yoga, because yoga seems less . . . Intense? But I think yoga is kicking my ass more than Pilates!

Once this month is over, I'm considering getting a membership to the gym. Pilates and yoga are nice and work muscle differently, but I need to cardio. I still wonder if 20min/day of DDR will count. I already have, so I won't have to shell out more cash. Unfortunately, I will need to push a lot of furniture out of the way. When we moved our living room space kind of went down. In our previous house, the living room space was so large that it had to be turned into two rooms. Needless to say, I had enough space!

It kind of feels weird doing all this stuff without starting the diet change. I tell myself that I need to get in the habit of exercising one way or the other. You know what? This has been my first full week of doing exercise! I'm so proud of myself. The weather looks nice, so maybe we can get Juneau out hiking. That counts as aerobic activity, right?

I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to have weigh-ins and measurements. As stated earlier, I want to lose the weight, but I don't want it to become the focus. It would be nice to see my progress . . . But I still have reservations ._.

I was feeling lazy and didn't want to do yoga. But Juneau was outside and the cats were eating, so it was the perfect time. Parts of the poses kick my ass, but it is really rewarding. I know that it is about slow, controlled movements, but my muscle feel as though they have been worked pretty hard. I find it rather interesting that you're building muscle without the use of weights.

Exercise:
MWF - Pilates
TR - Yoga
weekend - rest/go hiking with my husband and Juneau (we're trying to teach her how to pull ^_~)

My yoga DVD rocks! It is called Just My Size Yoga. It is taught by a plus-size model who has studied yoga and changed some of the moves/poses to accommodate plus-sized girls.

I cannot start making weekly menus and adding in healthier food until the beginning of the month. This has been a pretty tight month, and I'm not sure how we're going to make it to the end T_T I guess that's what it means to buy a house and become an adult U_U