Plus-Sized Pin Up

After a failed attempt of getting together on Wednesday after the gym, my friend has yet again failed to be anywhere near her phone. She made a point of wanting to get together this afternoon, so much so that I forewent the gym to make time for her. After calling her to confirm a time and to see if she could pick me up, she has yet to call me! It is now nearly an hour after we originally planned on getting together. Needless to say, I am upset. I was really looking forward to finishing out a full week at the gym, but . . . *sigh*

On top of that, my brother is coming up from Greeley with plans to role play all weekend long! He also fails to realize that one of our role playing buddies is 4 hrs (!!!) out of town, so he has to leave early to get here by noon. And, of course, bro want so start playing at 10am tomorrow after hubs has to work tonight. Arg!

And, if that isn't enough, I have two book review requests coming in the mail this weekend! At first, I was excited about it, but it is starting to feel like college all over again.

Anyways, friend just called. She wants to try for Tuesday. Go figure, she was away from her phone all afternoon *grumble* At least we're getting a gym-off-day.

In non-bitchy news, I was thinking about getting a PT full-time when I get the job with dispatch. Granted, I only saw him once, but I know it will make a BIG difference. Plus, it will keep me accountable. He might also be able to work around me knee issue, so that's even better ^_^ Since I'm a member, it costs about $25/hr, so that's pretty good! When I get the job, that will be a small expense. w00t! I think that will be my reward for getting the job!

Not heading to the gym this afternoon Why is it that everybody wants to do something on gym-days and never have any time free on non-gym-days? Arg! Oh well, I'm hoping that getting it out of the way this week will free things up to finish out next week.

Even though I only went twice this week, I already feel a lot better! My energy level is starting to increase, I'm sleeping better, etc.!

At lot can be said for muscle memory. I was nervous heading into the gym. Being out of it for awhile made me feel a little more than intimidated. It took awhile to get up to the level I was at, and I felt pretty damn good about it. Now, I was going to head back into beginning territory, and I was feeling sorry for myself. However, other than a little shin splint on my left leg, once I got on the treadmill and warmed up my muscles, my body said, "Oh yeah, I remember this!" and I powered through! Granted, I was a little stupid and went to the gym too close to lunch, so my walk was only about 26min including cool down.

The weights felt like coming home! There was that nice burn, but I fell into sync just as easily as the treadmill. This goes a long way to boost my ego!

My knee is a little sore, but it doesn't hurt. Hopefully, a little more time spent walking will work me up to running again. Honestly, I miss it!

On my way home, I was bad and got myself a watermelon limeade at Sonic Now the drink, my book, and me are going to find our way to a nice bath. Nothing like a hot bath to soak away the soreness and a nap to get the muscles relaxed.

Heading back to the gym tomorrow. It's the first time in several months, and I'm nervous!

Here's the plan:

• 30 minutes on treadmill, walking
• Lifting, concentrating on the upper body
• Abs
• Stretching/cool-down

Here's the playlist:

• Tik Tik - Ke$ha
• Everytime We Touch - Cascada
• Trouble - Pink
• Get the Party Started - Pink
• Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
• California Gurls - Katy Perry
• Just Dance - Lady Gaga
• Don't Stop the Music - Rihanna
• Shut Up and Let Me Go - The Ting Tings
• September - Earth, Wind, & Fire
• Your Love Is My Drug - Ke$ha
• Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
• I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry
• Genie in a Bottle - Christina Aguilera
• Poker Face - Lady Gaga
• U + Ur Hand - Pink
• Party In the U.S.A. - Miley Cyrus
• For Your Entertainment - Adam Lambert
• Who Knew - Pink
• Disturbia - Rihanna
• I Gotta Feeling- Black Eyed Peas
• Raise Your Glass - Pink
• Sing Ladies - Beyonce
• Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boys
• Teenage Dream - Katy Perry
• Only Girl (In the World) - Rihanna
• SOS - Rihanna
• Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
• Tonight (I'm F***kin' You) - Enrique Iglesias
• Hello - Martin Solveig and Dragonette
• I Get around - Dragonette
• Run the World (Girls) - Beyonce
• E.T. - Katy Perry feat. Kayne West
• Last Friday NIght (TGIF) - Katy Perry

That is 2hrs of music! w00t! Tomorrow afternoon might be spent recovering, but I plan to get back into the routine of going to the gym. It's been too long, and I've noticed the difference in my energy level. However, seeing my old PT at the front desk tomorrow makes me a little more than self conscious about not attending the gym in a long time. But, hey, I was gone for 3 weeks and had a pretty nasty injury on top of that. The point is that I'm trying to get back.

Anyways, off to a hot bath with my book and then bed! Need to rest up before hitting the gym tomorrow. Plus, after spending my mornings sleeping in, getting up to take hubby to work is gonna take some work ^_~

Wish me luck!

It's been since the end of January since I last did anything with this blog. After my hubby lost his job, we kind of hit a downward spiral and lost touch with just about everything. The only thing that kept me sane was concentrating on reading and book blogging. However, God was extremely gracious and stretched our money like the fish and bread. After a struggle getting unemployment, the addition of $400/wk was amazing! Just as we were getting to the very end of our funds, hubby got a job as contract-for-hire in town! He was making $65k/yr before and pitched the same amount; they countered with $77k/yr! We get paid weekly, so it is a little hard getting used to timing of bills and whatnot. But it was a blessing!

I'm still looking for work. Currently, I am going through a background check for a job with 911 dispatch. It has amazing benefits and approx. $40k/yr! That will definitely cover my student loan payments, which I need to defer again . . . Just had my polygraph on Tuesday, so I'm just waiting to hear back. It's been nearly 6+ weeks since this process started.

Exercise really went off the road. Shortly after hubs lost his job, we both came down sick. We were laid up for a few weeks. After not being able to eat much of anything, I was able to drop about 15lbs! (I haven't gained it back!!!) But that really got me out of the swing of the gym. After going back, I had to leave for Memphis for 3 weeks with the parents. While there, my mom and I drove up to IL to visit my grandparents. During our walk to the senior resource center, I fell in some mud, smacked knees on some torn up concrete, ripped them up, and just really messed myself up. My right knee is still bugging me after nearly 2 months! My doctor told me I might want to consider seeing an orthopedist sometime mid-month. Needless to say, I've really been taking it easy. However, next week I have plans to head back to the gym! Walking and weights on my upper body. Running might be way too much for my knee. I'll work up to it.

Anyways, I completely redesigned this blog in the hopes that I might get back to keeping it updated. I felt so much better when I was exercising, and I desperately need to get back to it. Here's hoping for the best!

Why. Sometimes I think that word is loaded. It is filled with so many emotions and words that cannot even be vocalized -- maybe not even fully realized. Why. It's like a shout into the dark where you're unsure whether someone is there to listen. It is said in desperation, just hoping that somewhere, someone will know the answer. And, not even know the answer, give the answer. Remaining unanswered brings feelings of loss, confusion, insecurity . . . Why.

Hubby got fired this evening. It was out of the blue. The boss didn't even have the cahones (sp) to tell him why. We don't know what to do. Prayer seems empty and pointless. We've been praying for months for God to bring me a job. Along with a call from dispatch saying I wasn't hired, hubby gets the axe. I feel so lost. I hazard even saying betrayed. Where is God? Everything is bleak . . . I cannot even see past the immediate . . .

He is heading tomorrow to see if he qualifies for unemployment. After that, we're going to see if we can defer as many loan payments as we can. Student loan starts around the 25th. I have the paperwork to fill out. According to the website, I can get a deferment up to 36mo.

Everything is coming down . . . The walls are closing in . . . I feel so alone and I don't know what to do or where to go. The tears stop for a little while; however, they keep coming back. I'm so scared. It would be nice to just pack up and go, but that isn't an option at the moment. If we sell our house before 3yrs of purchase, we owe the government the $8,000 tax credit for new home owners. Maybe we can squat at my parents' house if everything goes belly up. I don't know . . .

I wish I could curl up in blankets, go to sleep, and wake up to find that this is just a horrible dream.

I should be saying good-bye to week 4 and heading into week 5. Well, it's not happening. I didn't end up finishing out my week 4 on Friday. After an unwanted adventure the previous night, I was left with zero energy. Needless to say, I slept in. Man, did I need it! Then last night, I ended the evening with a migraine from hell! Usually I'm not too light sensitive when I get them, but last night was awful! Several hours after taking Advil, drinking caffeine, and resting, I felt like I had been beat up!

Slipping into a hot bath was a needed retreat. However, instead of snuggling into bed and going to sleep, I got out feeling horribly nauseous. Hubby brought me some pomegranate 7Up to calm my stomach. I decided not to take my medication and sipped the 7Up until my stomach was calm enough to go to sleep.

I don't think I slept well. It was really restless, and it felt as though I woke up several times throughout the night. When my alarm went off this morning, I found that I had horrible night sweats as though I was running a fever. I was also extremely chilled. However, I felt fine. When I got up to get ready for the gym, I found that my bowels (stomach, intestines, etc.) were feeling iffy. It seemed like a good idea to stay home. *sigh* After trying to crawl back into bed twice and being jolted out by a whining dog, I have decided to quit. I'm planning on curling up into a warm blanket on the couch, so I can deal with the dog. Hopefully I'll end up getting more rest.

The weird thing is I don't necessarily feel sick. Yeah I'm chilled and my bowels don't feel good, but it seems to be without the feeling of being sick. It's weird. Hubby had some lower intestinal issues last week without feeling sick, so I wonder if I ended up getting it. *shrug* Who knows. Either way, I'm gonna jump into the last half of week 4 on Wednesday -- provided I feel better -- and start week 5 next week. I'm trying to convince myself not to feel guilty about skipping the gym. My body is just telling me to rest. If I push myself, I'll only end up hurting myself in the long run.

Anyways, I'm going to tuck myself into some warm blankets, snuggle down with a book, and try to feel better.