Plus-Sized Pin Up

I am wallowing, and I need to stop! Memories from past events keep entering my brain, and I find myself judging who I am now. Things have changed, life has changed, I'm not longer that person. I admit it, I am far more jaded and cynical than I used to be, but I've also lived longer. I have a wonderful hubby who loves me unconditionally, some amazing friends (Angel, you know who you are ^_~), some fuzzy "kids", a degree!, etc. Even though part of me wants to be that girl again, I wonder whether I would really be happy. And do I want to be her because of the way I felt? The attention is nice, but I still hated myself then as well. Now, whether my body image is better, I am being proactive about my life (haha, in some areas) ^_^

I'm hoping that the continued exercise will help with the depression. Even though I am extremely exhausted some days, I look forward to my 3x/wk gym outing. LoL, that sounds so strange ^_~ But, hey, it keeps me going.

A few years ago, I took a job with our local paper was a copy desk editor. It was an awesome job, but I was forced to quit after a few months. The hours were killing me and getting in the way of school and life. Now one of the girls I worked with just moved to Washington, so her position is available. They want to hire immediately. My hubby wants to me apply, but I feel really torn about it. It would be putting my degree to go use, it was a laid back job (even with the deadlines), etc. But one of the reasons I quit was the hours. I had to come in around 6pm and work until nearly 2am everyday but Sundays. My brain was just shutting down, which caused me to make/miss a lot of mistakes that were made. It was hard. I'm not sure if I should try to go back. Hubby thinks that being out of school will help with the hours, but still . . . I don't know . . . I tell myself that feeling this way supports my decision not to return. Arg! I wish things were easy!

Well, I'm off to call a few jobs I applied for. I'm hoping it isn't too early in the process to be calling them, but I would really like to know. Plus, it shows that I am being proactive and want to job. Here's hoping I get the job at the local radio station ^_~