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Change. It is amazing how one simple word evokes so many emotionally charged views. When someone changes, everyone around them must change in response. Life is change. Look around at the world; we can see it in the seasons. Being such a natural occurrence and a cornerstone of life, why do we reject and resist change?

It's hard.

We have to fess up to the conditions we live in: emotional chains, roles attributed by family and/or friends, health, etc.

I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to embrace a healthier lifestyle. All the junk in my life has been weighing me down. Waking up every morning, I suffer from the weight of all this junk on my shoulders.

After changing my birth control, my new doctor wants me to start trying to take the weight off. She even mentioned a diet pill. While I miss being smaller, I have to wonder what is truly more important -- losing weight and continue in the same destructive habits or find a balanced and healthy lifestyle?

If I am not healthy in any part of my life, I will suffer. Losing weight isn't all of it. If I cannot learn to love myself at my current size, than I will never be happy with my looks at a size 14. No amount of weight loss will ever change my deeply rooted feelings. At no point am I trying to say losing weight it a wrong thing. I'm trying to say that society has given false reasons for weight loss.

I come from a family with a history of heart disease (mostly stress induced on my father's side) and deeply rooted diabetes (my maternal grandmother, great-aunts, and my father). This is not something to play with! People die from improper care and ignorance! Even though I am not diabetic, this is definitely a health concern -- according to my mom, it skips generations. Being 27, this is a perfect time to learn to watch and change my eating habits.

And, though it hurts to admit it, I am lazy. Even as a kid, I preferred a much more sedate lifestyle. Reading books, drawing, or playing video games held massive amounts of enjoyment. I never though too much about it. But, on Saturday, it finally dawned on me how bad I am. Not only am I out of shape, I am carrying too much weight, and I suffer from asthma. Imagine that at a Renaissance Festival where walking up and down hills is part of the experience. How many times did I have to stop? I don't know. I was constantly out of breath, couldn't hold a conversation without panting, etc. Even walking across my house can cause an issue. With asthma, I'm not sure how much is from laziness and weight, but that is not a excuse to strengthen my heart and lungs.

My focus will not be on losing weight. I want to find a balanced and healthy lifestyle.

It's time. It's my time.