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sinn
"If you’re a freak like me, Wave your flag! If you’re a freak like me, Get off your ass! It’s our time now, To let it all hang out!" I am a recovering English major, closet bibliophile, breve addicted, zombie lover with a rockabilly and heavy metal fetish.
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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Inspiring

Surfing around all the awesome weight loss blogs out there, I stumbled across



Charlie is really inspiring. Looking at her pictures make me feel encouraged. I really need that at the moment.

Thinking about the close of the month makes me think about the changes I am going to make. And it kind of makes me nervous. I need to make this change I want to make this change. But the coming change scares me.

I had ice cream for dinner tonight followed by Doritos. I felt really guilty. Even thinking about it know really makes me feel bad about myself. With the possibility of diabetes in the future, eating ice cream for dinner really isn't a smart choice

When hubby got up to feed and let out Juneau, I roused myself from bed and stumbled into the bathroom in search of the scale. My official weight is going to come next week, but I was driven my curiosity. Honestly, my weight didn't surprise me, but I was still saddened nonetheless. Last time my checked my weight, I was just barely over 200. That was a few years ago.

I wish I could tell that scared part of my brain that this is about taking back control. I am in control, not my weight! It no longer defines who I am.

This is going to take a lot of support. My sweet hubby is totally supportive. Juneau is definitely on the band wagon ^_~ She is excited about more walks and outings! Deep down, I'm scared that I will sabotage myself. I used to ride my bike all the time, eat healthy, etc., but in the end I always fall back. Sometimes that ice cold Coke sounds pretty damn good! Or getting tiramisu. It feels as though I am denying myself. Well, in a way, I guess I am . . . I'm denying myself good health, a chance to escape diabetes and heart disease, more years to live, and so on. I can say that, but it is hard to accept.

Why is everything that is worth doing always end up the hardest damn thing to accomplish?

God wants me to be healthy. I'm not getting on the preachy, "Your body is a temple." While I can see the argument for that, I think it goes a lot farther. God does not want me to continue in my unhealthy lifestyle. That includes a bad self image, dwindling spiritual life, feeling sick, relationships with others, etc.

I'm going to need to put my trust in God. He gives us the strength when we are week. He raises us up. I know I have a good support system. Sometimes I feel as though I am alone in all thing. God bless all the authors of those weight loss blogs. They have been such an encouragement to me. It shows me that I am not alone and that it can/has been done!

3 comments:

karen said...

I saw you listed on the Blog Hop and had to come say hi! I'm also a big BIG fan of Coke & Tiramisu (and rockabilly and tattoos) so I'm thinking we're going to get along pretty well :)

I have found, for me anyway, that the more I tell myself that I can't have something the more I want to go overboard having it (like a rebellious child). So instead of telling myself "No Coke" I let myself have a Coke Zero or Pepsi Max. One a day seems to get me through now instead of downing a 2 liter bottle every couple of days.

And the tiramisu? Check out THIS recipe!
http://www.everydayhealth.com/health-recipe/tiramisu.aspx

I'm a big believer in compromise

sinn said...

Thanks for the advice. I think the anticipation is killing me :p If I watch what I eat, it is fine if I want a Coke or a piece of tiramisu sometimes. It's about balance, not denying.

LOL, it's nice to find another tiramisu, coke, and tattoo lover ;) We curvy, tattooed chicks have got to stay together!

OMG, that recipe looks so good! **hugs**

The Incredible Shrinking Woman said...

THANKS FOR LINKING ME!!!!!! It means the world to a nerdy dieter like me! And I love meeting new bloggers! (BTW- hi! I'm Charlie...)
I too struggle with a cold glass of Coke. And I give in every once in a while. But Coke zero gets me by- especially if you can find it somewhere that has it from a fountain. Can't tell you how hard it is to find- but so totally worth it!)
Hang in there. This diet business is tricky. I'll support you as best as I can. My email is on my blog under the "contact Charlie" tab. Feel free to get a hold of me.
And finally? OMGOSH I LOVE THE SKULLS ON HERE! You and I are kindred spirits, I think. I'm wearing my skull earrings right now! (rarely take them out, unless I am putting in the cherry ones! lol)
Big Hugs!
Charlie